Thick, Woolen Socks
by GOLD fish 945
Summary: What do you see when you look in the mirror? I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks. It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore may not have been quite truthful. R&R DDxGG SLASH What he sees in the mirror.


Thick, Woolen Socks

_Goldfish_

Harry pulled the invisibility cloak over himself, disappearing from sight, and I heard the door creak open and shut quietly behind him. I sighed. He was gone. I sat down on one of the desks that wasn't piled against the wall. I put a hand to my forehead. I almost sobbed. It seemed that no matter how long one goes without thinking of love, it comes back to haunt you at times.

_"Sir – Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?"_

"_Obviously, you've just done so. You may ask me one more thing, however."_

I hadn't seen it coming. I should have, but I hadn't. Of course the boy did not mean to dredge up old, painful memories. He was just a curious eleven-year-old boy. He just wanted to _know_.

"_What do you see when you look in the mirror?"_

"_I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."_

The lie came off my tongue like the truth. Harry may have noticed that that was very unlikely… True, I did enjoy thick, warm socks, but there was only one thing that the Mirror of Erised would ever show me.

Him.

I looked up, into the mirror, and there he was.

Gellert.

His youthful, bright face smiled at me. His bright blue eyes flashed with the overt friendliness that had drawn me in at first. His blonde hair, down to his shoulders, bounced as he waved to me. I got up and walked closer to the mirror. My reflection appeared in it, and I watched as the familiar scene played itself out yet again.

I told young Harry not to come here, not to waste away in front of this mirror. I was doing just what I had told him not to do. What I wanted more than anything was for that day – that fateful day – to have gone differently.

It was the first of two fateful days, two days that had seemed to ruin my life. I knew better now. My life had not been ruined or wasted, but my only regrets still lie with these two days. I _know_ that if this first day had gone differently, the second day would have as well. I watched as the scenery behind us changed, and the _me_ that was inside the mirror became youthful again. My hair shortened, reddened, and my nose repaired itself one time. I could just see the corner of the home that Aberforth, Ariana and I shared. Gellert and I sat on a small wooden bench near the crossroads between Bathilda's home and my own. I couldn't hear what we were saying, but I knew from my own memories. We were speaking of those damned _Hallows_ again, determined to make our own fame and fortune with them. We would rule the wizarding world, together. Albus and Gellert. Our named would inspire respect in the respectable, and fear in those who were feared. We would make the wizarding world – no – the _entire_ world a place for the greater good. It would be a world where the masses would be safe. We would do our best to make it a good place. The greater good.

In the mirror, we stopped talking, and I knew the worst and best moment of my life was approaching fast. Worst – because it began the end of everything. Best – because it was the most thrilling moment I ever experienced in my young life. I could never forget this moment. _Never_.

I saw my lips form the words, 'We've got so much in common, Gellert.'

'I know,' he replied. 'I'm so glad I met you, Albus. This summer has been the best one of my life.' He put a hand on my shoulder. I could feel it myself, and I could recall the tingling feeling on my shoulder because his hand was there. I remembered the exact feeling of the butterflies attacking my stomach.

'Mine as well,' I said back to him. I reached out a hand as well and rested it on top of his left hand, which was on his thigh. I had never touched him so intimately before. But he seemed comfortable. My throat was constricted. I almost didn't want to watch, but I couldn't tear myself away. I needed to relive this one more time before I sent the mirror down to those special rooms to keep the Stone safe.

'Gellert?' I said to him.

'Yes?' he asked.

'There's something I – I need to tell you,' I said. I could see the nerves on my face.

'What is it, Albus? Are you alright? You look ill,' said Gellert, his brow furrowing in concern. I felt almost sick to my stomach. His face was beautiful. I remembered that much, and his beautiful, youthful face recreated in the mirror was like a slap to the face and a punch in the stomach. I still loved him just as much as I had all those years ago.

'I'm not ill,' I said. 'I just… need to tell you something…' Gellert turned and put his other hand on my other shoulder. He turned me to face him, and he moved his face close to mine. I could remember that I felt his breath on my face. My heart had pounded, I had been breathing very heavily.

'You can tell me anything,' said Gellert. I remembered the intensity with which he had said those words. I had believed them. I had truly believed he would return my affections. I had gulped.

'I care for you,' I said quietly.

"I care for you," I said aloud to the room. It was quiet, but it echoed off the high ceiling. I could hear the pain my voice in the echoes.

'I care for you as well,' said Gellert, letting go of me. He laughed. 'My Lord, Albus! I thought it was something _serious_!'

'It is,' I said. 'It is very serious to me.' I remembered the moment of adrenaline, the rash adrenaline that had prompted this. I reached out to him, took his face in my hands, and I kissed him there, on that bench, in broad daylight. Anyone could have seen us. We would have been outcasts even more if anyone had seen – if anyone had known. But no one saw, and I kissed him hungrily. He was stone underneath my grasp, but after a moment, he relaxed. I remembered the slight pressure he put against my lips. I remembered the thrill as I realized that he was kissing me back. I pulled myself closer to him, heart pounding, and this was where the mirror changed the outcome. With utter pain, I watched as Gellert's arms wound around my neck, pulling me closer to him. I knew that in reality, he had pushed me away and told me that he could never think of me as more then a friend. He didn't hate me for affections I couldn't help, and he promised that it would pass. He promised that I would find someone else who would love me the way he knew I deserved.

He lied to me. He didn't _mean_ to, but he did. I have not found anyone who completed me the same way. I don't spend all of my time thinking about the lost love from my teen years, but when I do it hits me in the same painful, crushing way it did at first.

In the mirror, I watched as our hands roamed over each other, and I winced. I turned away, unable to watch anymore. I wished more than anything that that had been true. I was sure that if that had happened, if he had accepted me and loved me back, then Ariana would not have died. He would have been more careful, because then I would have been more to him – more then just a friend. His best friend, yes, but _just_ that.

I let out a deep shuddering breath.

What had I just told Harry Potter to keep him away from the mirror?

_It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that._

I took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly. Yes. There was a phrase I'd heard, and I chose there and then that I would not look in the mirror again. _Practice what you preach_. I would not longer spend any time wishing for what could have been. I would regret those two days for my entire life, I had no doubt. But instead of mourning, I would now move forward. Work towards a better future for Harry Potter and his friends. We would keep Voldemort away. He would not be victorious, ever.

With that, I strode from the room, my back straight, my eyes dry, but my heart no lighter then it had been when I walked in. But in my mind that heaviness was different. It was easier to bear. I knew that it was in the past, and I no longer needed to remember that there were those regrets in my past. I smiled, wondering if I should have pancakes for breakfast. Perhaps waffles...


End file.
